In no particular order…
1. There are fully-equipped squad cars for Animal Cruelty Investigation.
The Joneses would have been jailed years ago. Remember the deer? The rabbit? The cat(s)? The dog(s)? The rats? The chickens? The goat(s)?
2. If the temperature inside the house is 70 degrees, it is too hot. People complain.
3. If the temperature inside the house is 66 degrees, it is too cold. People complain.
4. Dogs have carseats. And hairdressers. And quality healthcare. And psychologists. Dogs.
5. Traffic jams are long lines of silent cars moving slowly in the same direction.
6. If you are a woman, you own more than two bras and you wear them (one at a time) every day, all day. If you are a man, you own more than two pairs of underwear and you wear them (one at a time) every day, all day.
7. You can go to a store, fill a cart the size of a small car, and pay without ever talking to a human being.
8. There are signs at the playground instructing kids on how to use the equipment.
9. Sprinklers pop up from hidden holes in the ground and water the lawn during thunderstorms.
10. There are rules like “no soda pop caps” inside the stadium, possibly to deter the tossing of urine-filled water bottles at athletes on the field. Not that I’ve ever seen that before.
|Bonus #11: Your children don’t consider bones, stones, and rusted tin can covers playthings.|
Ahhh, the luxuries. Or maybe the annoyances?
What would you add to this list?