Friday, February 1 was World Hijab Day.
Some people love the idea.
Some people find it offensive.
Some people are offensive. Like the St. Paul, Minnesota policeman this article discusses.
This critical article on Patheos: World Hijab Day: Everyone’s Favorite Dress-up Day makes some really good points. In general the western world is highly ignorant, biased, belittling, and stereotyping when it comes to writing about and presenting the hijab.
One of her main points is that wearing the hijab for a day in an attempt to ‘understand’ or empathize or experience the same day-to-day realities for Muslim women is condescending. A lot of the commentary is negative and she links to some in the article. Much of the conversation about hijab patronizes.
An example of the subtle yet pervasive nature of the negative conversation about hijab in western writing popped up last night. I am reading the massively popular A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans and even found mention of the hijab in this. (worth reading, by the way!) In her chapter on modest clothing, she lists some of the ways she has viewed the clothes of others and judged them. “When I saw saw women at the airport wearing the hijab, the first word that came to my mind was oppressed.”
Okay, so she is honest, and later she addresses, sort of, these judgments. But then her husband writes in his journal, “…when I see people wearing conservative clothing. I automatically suspect abuse and control…There are reasons we associate certain clothing (or lack thereof) with certain behaviors and lifestyles. Isn’t clothing a form of nonverbal communication? If so, we should be allowed to judge others by what they “say”.”
In a way, then, he is saying that he is right to make judgments of abuse and control, or that Rachel is right to make judgments of oppression, when they see women in hijab because that is the nonverbal communication these women are presenting to the world.
Excuse me?!
They start with the assumption of oppression and then the clothing confirms it. And the wearer is at fault because, hey, the clothes speak for themselves.
Yikes.
**note: I am not saying RHE or her husband believe all women in hijab are oppressed. This is simply an example of how words are loaded and dangerous things and must be wielded with caution. Of how easily conversation including the veil becomes convoluted.
Terribly fuzzy. From Somaliland, going to school
This all leads to a few questions I have. I asked a fellow blogger at A Sober Second Look and now I want to ask my blog readers. She wrote a post called White Non-Muslim Women and Hijab in which she also criticizes some of these ‘experiments.’ I asked her about the difference between donning the hijab as an experiment and donning it, also as a white, non-muslim woman, when living in a Muslim country. She had a thoughtful response:
Rachel—Thank you for your comment. I agree that it can be quite complicated, depending on where you are and what your role(s) in the communities in question are. But showing respect when you are in someone else’s country is different from carrying out a “burqa experiment” in America. Asking people what is appropriate is a good idea (it sounds like you are doing that).
So, now I’m asking you:
- How can Muslim and non-Muslim women engage in edifying conversation about hijab (or bikinis)? Can they?
- Do you have positive or negative examples/experiences?
- What is the difference between wearing hijab on a day of solidarity and wearing it when visiting a friend, for example, in a conservative Djiboutian slum? Is there a difference?
- Muslim women, what would you like from non-muslim women? What questions do you have for them?
- Non-muslim women, what would you like from Muslim women? What questions do you have for them?
I would love to hear from you. I would also love to host a guest post series on this. Please contact me if would be interested in contributing.
as a fresh out of college young woman, i spent a year in a predominately muslim country in SE asia – and i was mostly blissfully ignorant except for my assumption that all moslem women were oppressed and whether they’d admit it or not, unhappy.
and i carried those preconceived ideas, based on not ever really knowing a muslim or muslim background woman, to our lives here in w. africa.
that was a huge shock to me. most my muslim friends are strong, confident and independent woman. they are intelligent, even if they are not educated. they are valued members of their families and no one doubts the important role they play. in fact, they just seem like normal women – they laugh and gossip, make dinner, worry about sick kids, don’t get enough sleep and find their husbands frustrating at times. and most of them have embraced, love and find great comfort in the traditions and practices that identify them as a part of this world. i find it hard to label that as oppressive.
in a different, but kind of related topic – i’d always assumed it would be absolutely awful to be in a family with multiple wives. and i would be terribly unhappy. yet i have many friends who are very happy as co-wives, and are, in fact friends – almost like sisters. i don’t understand it, but i’m not going to, from the outside looking in, try and convince one of my friends that she is ridiculous to continue to participate in such a system that obviously oppresses women. because i’m not sure that oppressing women is the goal and i’ve never walked in her shoes…
i think you’ve nailed, it Rachel, when you say that we have to listen and let others define what they see as good and bad rather than me, standing on the outside, proclaiming it to them. i can’t wait to see what sorts of conversations these questions provoke!
Seeing your process is so important Richelle, to acknowledge where you have come from and where you are now is good. We are all learning and what you said is key: to learn in the context of personal relationships. This is one of the things I love about living in Djibouti. It takes humility and openness and curiosity and boldness – to ask questions and be willing to look foolish and to be willing to change. So good, and happy to be on the journey with you.
Being someone who only wears long LONG skirts, I have caught up with a few ladies in hijab – to ask where they bought their clothes. Until a few years ago when maxi skirts were “in” it was very tough to find a skirt long enough to cover all the way to my ankles, so I started asking ladies when I saw them.
To date, every lady I have asked has been very sweet; telling me where, writing down websites, and suggesting ways to alter sewing patterns.
I have a few times asked about the hijab though. Simple curiosity makes me wonder how they feel about it, and how this might be similar/dissimilar to Christian “covered ladies.” But every time I ask ANYTHING about it, that seems to be the end of the conversation. They’ll make polite excuses, and walk off. I would love to know how one could respectfully discuss something like this too.
I have found some blogs that have beautiful conservative clothing, mostly on Muslim women’s sites. I’ve thought about ordering stuff but just haven’t yet. But yes, it is hard to find things in the US sometimes.
Hi, I’m prima from Indonesia, and generally I’ve been wearing hijab for all my life, especially in school. I started to wear hijab for full since last year, and I really hope it will be forever.
I once participated in World Scout Jamboree in Thailand, 2002-2003 when terrorism issue was raised because of WTC. And I felt terrible, because not many people would like to make friends with me. I have to fight harder to show that I’m just an ordinary muslim after all. But, for some private reasons (muslim used to call it ‘hidayah’ or ‘bless’), I still survive in wearing hijab and proud of it.
Living in Indonesia where wearing hijab is not special, I found my own beautiful story. I once worked as an assistant manager for foreign football players and they appreciate me more than un-hijabi women. They said, they heard that the value of hijab is very high, and they want to respect me as well.
I also had experience accepting an intern student from another country in my house. She is an atheist, and she keeps asking how can I believe in Allah. She found that praying 5 times a day is very difficult to do, and wearing hijab is kind of a limitation for a woman.
But I don’t feel that way. I played piano, I once worked as a radio announcer and I joined a movie production with a famous Indonesian director; now I‘m working as an account manager and most of my clients are from United States and Europe.
So once I had another intern student from Korea and she also asks the same question, I ask her to try wearing hijab. In the first day, she feels uncomfortable. But in the third day, she chooses her hijab by herself. When I asked why she wants to wear hijab, she said that she feels safe. It’s a new experience for her and perhaps she doesn’t know about the ‘connection’ between hijab and becoming a better muslim woman.
But, from long conversations, one thing we agree with, in our humble opinion, a good woman doesn’t exposed her skin to public. And sometimes, it’s what I have questioning for all my life. Women who wear short or bikinis, don’t you feel like ‘naked’? 🙂
This is wonderful, I’m so glad you joined the conversation. I think your story of starting to wear the hijab and how you experience it is beautiful. It is so true that people will have various responses and it sounds like you have a good job of presenting your faith and your convictions with friends.
For me, a lot depends on my environment. When I’m around people who are uncomfortable with bikinis or shorts, I do feel naked. When I’m around people who are used to it, and wearing them themselves, I don’t feel naked! I guess that makes me a chameleon of sorts.
After years improving my knowledge about wearing hijab, I believe that there are two main factors..
1. Faith
Everyday, I always hear muslimah said that, hijab has no relation with being a good muslimah. With or without hijab, we still can be a good muslimah. However, for those who really understand, like or not, it is a compulsory. Just like we can say “with or without uniform, I still can be a good student”. But, wearing uniform is not something that we can decide but our school. Therefore, it really takes a muslimah who has strong faith to try surviving in wearing hijab.
2. Environment
Same as you wearing bikinis, it takes an environment which can shows that hijab is important. I have a Belgium friend who is a muslimah. When she was in Indonesia, she wears hijab everyday because she sees that in Indonesia, almost everybody wears it. But in Belgium she can easily take it off because of her environment is more free about it.
I also want to share another story. Although most of citizen in Indonesia are muslim, hijab still is a personal issue, depends on two things which I have explained above.
Besides that, these last days, hijab ‘style’ is everywhere and it raises a question too: are they wearing hijab because of Allah or trend? That, which perhaps same with the condition of International Hijab Day 😉
Your last point is really interesting and something women who are not Muslims probably aren’t even aware of – the issue of wearing hijab because of Allah or because of fashion trends. I have found some blogs and websites with such beautiful dresses and scarves and it is too bad that the images most western women who aren’t Muslim associate with hijab is dark, drab, or heavy. And this is, of course, mostly due to our one-sided news reporting and perspectives.
I am an American who converted to Islam in 2011 and I started wearing hijab shortly after. My family thinks it makes me a target, but at the time when I started I lived near other Muslims. I have since moved to a town further south where I am the only Muslim hijabi. I am very comfortable and happy in my hijab. I feel better going out in it than anything else because I know I am honoring God and respecting myself and my dignity.
Primadita, I am also involved with Scouts. Girl Scout events in the US is where I get the most looks and have had other volunteers sometimes treat me differently. The girls really like the hijab. The girls ask questions and ask them moms if they can try one on.
I think going through Girl Scouting program has given me the confidence to be happy with who I am, no matter what I am wearing.
Oh WOW – How did I miss this post??? This is a BIG topic for me. Growing up in Pakistan, my alarm clock was the Call to Prayer, my food staple was curry, and my friends and aunties were burqa clad women. My mom and I always wore dupattas or the Iranian chador when we left the house – because that’s what God-fearing women did….and we were God-fearing. I have written about the veil on my own blog, use it as an illustration in all of the culture and health care workshops and speaking engagements that I do and am passionate in my defense. Wearing the hijab as an experiment I find extremely offensive and condescending – I’d venture to say it has imperialism written all over it. I’d also say this – Anyone who pities those who wear hijab need to seriously re-think their positions and form friendships with those that do wear hijab. The idea that you can empower through pity is offensive. There are several reasons why people where hijab other than religions – One – it’s a symbol of nationalism and Two – it’s a fashion statement.And those are only two of the other reasons. I have recommended this book (began as a study) many times and will do so again What a Billion Muslims Think: Who Speaks for Islam is an eye-opening response to the stereotyped lens through which the western world views Islam and women in Hijab. http://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/2011/02/23/challenging-assumptions/ I’m not trying to be opportunistic by linking but this comment is getting long and I am getting more and more passionate as I write 🙂 So want to curb my words and link to some posts where I explored some of this. THANK YOU for beginning this important conversation! http://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/2012/01/11/counterintuitive-findings/
Love this comment. I’m marking the links to read in the morning, am looking forward to reading more from your passionate voice! And I most definitely need to read that book so I’m also off to Amazon. Fabulous – love book recommendations.
Hi Marilyn!
Oh man! I am so glad I found this comment! As I stated in a previous comment on another of Rachel’s posts I have been debating giving the hijab a go. Not out of pity or a want for attention, but to see and feel what it is like to wear such modest clothing. I’ve lived my whole life in Wisconsin, USA wearing low cut shirts, short shorts, and tight clothing. I thought it would be interesting to see what it feels like to cover up (to the “extreme”) and learn about different religions while I’m at it.
I will definitely be looking into the links shared in your comment.
Rachel,
Like I stated in my previous comment I am so glad that I found your series, and I can’t wait to read the rest!
Stephanie, I’m so glad you came upon this series, there are some wonderful posts it in. Would love to hear your ongoing thoughts as you learn/read/think about it. Do you have any Muslim friends in WI who could help you or explain some things to you?
[…] I’m honored to be a part of “Let’s Talk About Hijab” – a series that Rachel Pieh Jones began over a month ago. You can find Rachel’s […]
[…] Communicating Across Boundaries. It is one article in a series of articles about the hijab called Let’s Talk About Hijab. If you want to learn more about those who wear the hijab, check out these […]
interesting to read Rachel Held Evans and her husbands first thoughts when they see someone wearing a hijab or conservative dress. I grew up in Pakistan and went to the same school as Marilyn. We also live in an area where there is an Exclusive Bretheren church where women only wear skirts and fix their hair in certain very recognisable ways. Personally, whenever I see a woman in a hijab, burqa or dressed as the Bretheren women do, I see it as an outward sign of their faith, not as a sign that they are oppressed and unhappy. I suppose I assume that if they’re wearing it or dressed as they are, they have chosen that way of life.
I don’t think that RHE or her husband necessarily assume women who wear it are oppressed, but it is an example of how when we don’t pay good attention our words, or attitudes, they come out sounding like this. And ideas about the veil are so subtle and pervasive in the west that most people wouldn’t even notice the biases that are perpetuated.
Fun that you and Marilyn know each other!
[…] Let’s Talk About Hijab series has ended and we talked a lot about hijab over the past two months. This first guest-post […]
I am a Muslim woman from a predominantly Islamic country Bangladesh. I do not wear the hijab. But I have it in my heart to start wearing the hijab very soon. Hijab, as I perceive it is more than a head-cover. It actually is a way of life. And its a choice that I am free to make. Hijab encourages a woman to lead a modest life, and to help others do the same. In other words, a hijab helps us to lead the life that every mother in the world wishes for her daughter to live – a modest, respectable life, safe and successful with the ability to know right from wrong. In essence, being a good Muslim is not very dissimilar from being a good human. If you are a good human, you are not too far from being a good Muslim. A lot of my friends, colleagues and cousins wear the hijab. Wearing the hijab doesn’t limit/restrict the choices you can make in life. Rather, it helps you to make the right choices through which your life will only get better.
Dear lovers
Which one u will take if i give you an open candy and a new one which is not open yet ? Surely u will take the close one. Home civilization starts from no cloth then some leaves to hide some part of there body then they start wearing animals skin and so on until we reach the hijab which makes girls beautiful. It is shameless to go back where we came from
[…] Communicating Across Boundaries. It is one article in a series of articles about the hijab called Let’s Talk About Hijab. If you want to learn more about those who wear the hijab, check out these […]