ugly pants

the actual pants, ten years ago

Quick link: Envy and Ugly Pants

You know those ugly pants in your closet? The ones you pull on when you have to run to the grocery store and don’t expect to see anyone you know? The ones your husband tries to burn or cut or irredeemably stain? The ones you cling to and respond to his burn attempts with, “If you burn these I will destroy your black beauties!” and the fight ends?

I wore those to Lucy’s first day of school.

I shouldn’t have, they are really, stinkin’ ugly. But this was my ninth first day of school and the heat index hovered around ‘hellish’ and I just didn’t care.

Until I saw her.

That woman, every school has one, every woman knows one. Your nemesis. The one who seems to show up at every awkward moment of your life and while you are on your knees wiping up vomit, she is waltzing by on high heels  untouched by Djibouti’s dust. She smells like roses. You smell like vomit.

Even though we are far from the first day of school, I decided it was time to post the essay I wrote while Lucy was at school that day.

You know the woman I’m talking about. The one whose only flaw is that her well-dressed, wealthy husband’s chin sort of melts into his neck, deeper and deeper as he ages. The woman that makes you feel less than. The one that makes you discontent. The one with whom, in your own mind, you will never measure upShe has it all and no matter what you do, you never will.

This woman’s son is in my daughter’s class. Again.

This means I will see her on a regular basis for the rest of the year. Again.

This means it is time to battle the green monster of envy.

This means it is time to crush the concept of scarcity, the ‘mythical they.’

Click here to read more about how I battle this monster, how I face down the scarcity: Envy and Ugly Pants

How do you?