Quick link: When All the Other Moms Still Have Babies

This post was published last Thursday on Brain Child. I’m excited to announce that I have joined the team of contributing bloggers for this fantastic website, the ‘magazine for thinking mothers.’

This one is about that funny feeling I’ve been having lately in a number of conversations that I am now the ‘older’ mom, even though I’m generally still the same age as the other moms who still have babies, about recognizing a new generation of mothers and the subtle shift that takes place, conversationally and even relationally, as our kids grow up.

twin babies

this was forever ago…

A young American mom in Djibouti said her husband recently asked what she wanted and she looked at him, all crazy.

“What do I want? I don’t know what I want. I only know what the baby wants. Do I have wants? Do I get to have wants?”

Maybe not now, I thought. But one day, you will.

I didn’t say it out loud, though. The words, the sentiment, the experiential knowledge would age me, make me appear condescending and unsympathetic to this mom’s current loss of autonomy.

I wanted to talk about how when that day came she still wouldn’t know what she wanted and that it would take her months of floundering through guilt, feeling selfish, and being daunted by the sheer number of options to settle into what she wanted, who she might be, when she no longer had a baby or toddler.

Click here to read When All the Other Moms Still Have Babies at Brain Child.