Quick link: When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work
Today I have my first piece up ever at Mamalode about trying to breastfeed the twins. It was hard. Way harder than I expected. It didn’t go well and I ended up quitting. This essay is short but deeply personal, being about something that has proven foundational in my mothering. It is about how stopping breastfeeding made me feel like a failure as a mother, at the time. But now, in retrospect and fourteen years in to this whole parenting gig, I see it as the exact opposite. It was me being a good mother. It was one of the first among innumerable choices I would be forced to make between my idealistic plans and reality.
You were twenty-two years old when your husband and you came home from the hospital with newborn twins. Almost none of your friends had babies yet. You hated baby-sitting. You’d just been through nine months of carrying two babies and one was delivered vaginally while the second came via cesarean section. You were a mess.
And yet, you were determined to breastfeed. For all kinds of reasons but a primary one was cost. Remember how tight money was? You were recent university graduates with low-paying jobs and debt. You lived in a one-bedroom apartment.
The furniture in the living room had been pulled from the dumpster. Your parents brought paper bags of groceries. They thumbtacked twenty dollar bills to the wall. A friend brought two garbage bags full of diapers. Remember how you cried when you realized these would last almost a month?…
Click here to read the rest of When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work.
*image via Flickr
*be sure to check out Faraway: A Suburban Boy’s Story as a Victim of Sex Trafficking by Daniel Maurer, official book launch is today!