Do You Love All Your Kids the Same? I Don’t.

henry the dropoutQuick link: I Love You the Same. But Different.

Today I’m writing at Brain Child about raising three kids, all absolutely unique and all completely fascinating. It only stands to reason that my relationships with each of them would also be unique but somehow, when I realized that, it surprised me. I had to think about it for a while and decide how I felt about it. Eventually I decided it was awesome. Because they’re awesome and so I get to enjoy three unique awesome people. I came up with some theories about these relationships and for this essay specifically focused on my relationship with my son.

In this photo he just finished performing in the high school drama and his last line was that he was dropping out of school. Mom had to let him know how I felt about that. But only after I congratulated him on a job well-done in the play. He was really funny, well worth the multiple country journey to surprise him that weekend.

I love all my children the same. But I don’t love all my children the same. I love them all the same amount. Endlessly, to the moon and back, from Djibouti to Minnesota and back, forever and no matter what. But I don’t love them all in the same way. I don’t know why this realization surprised me. I mean, of course I don’t love them all in the same way. They are unique individuals and I have a unique, individual relationship with each one. But I was still surprised when that sentence came out through my fingers.

In particular, I’ve noticed singular aspects of my love for my son. I don’t understand why specifically, but have some theories.

Theory #1: Gender

He’s a boy. Sometimes I just stop there and think, woah dude, that’s a boy.

Click here to read more about these theories: I Love You the Same. But Different.